Knowing who you are hanging with is a critical element in the keys to success. The power and influence of your associations is an awesome power. Here is a key in your success planning. Don’t ask yourself who your friends and regular acquaintances are. Ask yourself, what do they have you becoming?
Wouldn’t it be a shame if you became the opinion of what someone else thinks you should be? Unfortunately in my personal business coaching practice one of the things we have to recognize and deal with are associations that are, in a word, unhealthy.
Whether you are an individual, self-employed business owner, entrepreneur or solo professional, the heights that you will be able to reach in your business and life will be determined in large part by your associations.
Personal success, small business growth or small business success will be short lived, if experienced at all, when you hang with the wrong people. Here are some things to look for in people that you may want to limit or avoid completely
Keys To Success: How To Deal With Manipulative Behavior
First things first every relationship is a manipulation. Manipulation isn’t a bad thing in and of itself. But, all of us have been made uncomfortable by people who manipulate in a negative way.
Keys To Success: Who’s Buttering You Up?
In coaching success I help make the business owner aware of people who may be practicing negative manipulation. Here’s how it can work. A person in your company comes up to you and pays you a compliment. They may tell you how wonderful you are or that you are doing a great job.
You’re feeling pretty good. Then they hit you with a request that is not right or uncomfortable. Since they have made you feel good they know that it is much harder for you to say “No.” You may feel guilty about hurting their feelings. You may be angry.
Regardless, you have to make a choice. One way to handle it is to give them a compliment and then at the end say “no.” That makes it much softer and easier. You are using their game of manipulation against them.
Keys To Success: How To Deal With Guilt
Guilt: This doesn’t only pertain to children, parents or mother-in-laws. Guilt has been a successful manipulation tactic for centuries. Whether you are an individual or a business owner starting your own business or running a small business you need to take a sword to guilt when it shows up.
The guilt strategy demands that the victim succumb to the manipulator’s demands because they feel they HAVE to, not because they WANT to. When this comes up, ask the individual if they want you to do something because you have to or because you want to. If they say they want you to want to do it, tell them that you don’t and that they are truing to force you into something you don’t feel comfortable with.
In the next post, I will give you some more thoughts on the keys to success in terms of who you are hanging with. For now, start recognizing manipulative behavior. Who is buttering you up? Who is trying to put you on a guilt trip?
Your keys to success and successfully using them are in the power and influence of your associations.
